7 Steps to Stay Civil with the Other Side by Lynne McTaggart
Here are my 7 suggestions for ways to re-establish civility when speaking to people whose politics disagree with yours:
1. Tone down all inflammatory language in your characterization of the other side in any written or oral speech. Democracy gives us the right to disagree. Do you want to remove that right?
2. Refuse to name-call or demonize someone else or their position. If you disagree with abortion, refuse to use words like ‘murder.’ If you disagree with the right wing, don’t characterize them as ‘baskets of deplorables,’ ‘lunatics,’ or anything else.
3. Stick to the facts when you discuss your opponents’ positions that are different from yours.
4. Learn about the other side. Watch broadcasts and read papers that support your political opponents, instead of tuning into the echo chamber of your own political views.
5. ‘Speak in love, speak in respect, and speak in peace.’ This was the mantra constantly held by a group of Massachusetts women on both sides of the abortion debate who met together over several years. They allowed different realities simply to coexist—again without being judgmental. Neither side changed their positions, but they all became best and loving friends.
6. Uncover the hidden connections between you, whether in your faith, your locality, your citizenship, your sex, or your local or national interests. Both Republicans and Democrats have many similar values: a love of family, God, children, home, and country. Share deeply and from the heart and encourage them to do the same – without judgment. Sharing deeply loosens entrenched positions.
7. Find a larger goal you can carry out together or as a group. It’s called a superordinate goal – a goal only achieved by large cooperative teamwork of two or more people. Engaging in sharing and teamwork tends to transcend differences, because it emphasizes the very heart of humanity — we are all in this together.
We need to recognize that we’re all in this together more than ever.